Wherever You Go, There You Are

A few days before the end of the semester, my older son announced he wanted to change schools. Apparently, his current school was no fun and all the people were weird. Really, all 1200 people? He missed his friends from the middle school. They all seemed to be having so much fun together at the other high school. Grass is always greener on the other side?

Changing schools is not a novel idea in our family. Our frequent moves often entailed moving to a new school. At one point we even moved our boys from a public school to a Catholic one because it was supposed to be more in line with values. We moved them back to the public school a few years later for the same reasons- in my defense, there were other external factors for both moves as well.

Every time our boys went to a new school, we emphasized what a great experience it was for them. It built their resilience and broadened their horizons. So, why was I skeptical about my freshman’s idea to transfer to another high school in the middle of the year?

If you read my other posts like "Change is in the Air" or "The Year of the Dog, the Cat and the House We Never Built," you'd know I am not afraid of change. Actually, I welcome it. To paraphrase the wise Heraclitus, change is the only constant in life. Learning to embrace change is in our best interests. But this truth comes with a caveat. Change is not always the solution. “Wherever you go, there you are,” said another wise man, possibly Confucius. Our issues, dilemmas, and insecurities will be the same, even if we are in a new place.

Will my introvert son suddenly become a social butterfly in a new school? Will he join the numerous fun clubs and better sport teams when he transfers? Not very likely. Not unless he decides to be make a mental change first. If he learns to be more outgoing, curious to learn new things and try new sports, he can do that. Ironically, he can do that even at his current school…

In other words, grass is not always greener on the other side. Grass is always greener where you water it.

As a result, my son decided to stay at the current school. I guess not all the people are weird after all. But good to know he has no fear or moving to a new school. Who knows when we change the address again.