Happy New Year's Resolutions!

As January approaches, gyms are preparing to accommodate a tsunami of new memberships. It will be a busy month at Planet Fitness. Restaurants and shops on the other hand are getting ready for slower traffic and smaller income in the beginning of the year. I don’t have any data to back the above statements, but based on my observations, conversations and personal experiences over the years, I’m confident I am making a safe assumption.

A new year is synonymous with a new beginning. Many of us like to add a deeper meaning to it and mark it with a resolution, like self- care and self-discipline. Just Google “diet” or “exercise” and see the number of results. I don’t want to spoil it, but it is in the billions. It’s not surprising. Self-improvement is a noble goal, especially after the extravagant, indulgent, and excessive holidays.

The thing is, give it two months and the gym crowd will be back in stores and restaurants enjoying happy hour deals and sales. Exercise will be down, and credit card debt and waistline will be up. With every month, we will be convincing ourselves more and more passionately that there is no point redirecting before the holidays. We will wait till another New Year to start fresh again. But again, nothing lasting will happen.

I used to make New Year’s resolutions as well. It was mostly when I was still in school. My resolutions usually fell in the category of self-care (surprise!), like better eating habits, and self-discipline category (what?), like better study habits. Sometimes it was about trying to fit in (so original, right?), like being more extravert. Over the years, as I looked at the few successfully executed resolutions and the many that failed by February, I noticed a pattern. There were simple reasons why most of my New Year resolutions failed.

First, there were the obvious pitfalls. My resolutions were often a response to the social or self-imposed pressure. In college, for example, every New Year, I forced myself to be more outgoing. I thought I had to do that to have a proper college experience. The thing was, I was not made for partying, clubbing, and crowds. I was an introvert dork, and I thrived in small, intimate settings. But it never occurred to me to just accept it and make the most of it. Instead, I chose to misdirect my energy into failed attempts of bringing out the shadow of an extravert in me.

Secondly, many of my resolutions were either half-cooked or too vague. For example, I would plan to travel more, but I would “forget” to choose the destination, gather the funds, and find a traveling partner. My success rate has drastically improved in this resolution area after I met my husband: an avid traveller and the ultimate planner.

Last but not least, there was one other reason for my New Year’s resolution failures: my total disregard for the seasons. Apart from the sunny California, I always lived in places where January was a winter month. Why did I plan to eat more fruit and salads in the place where it snowed till March? I’m always cold in the winter. Winter is when I crave warming food like hot soups and creamy pasta. The same goes with exercise. Every year when I lived in Belgium I tried to ride my bike more. All Belgian students did it, rain or shine. As inspiring as it was in cold and rainy January, it was more realistic in warm June. On the other hand, I successfully picked up yoga in winter. A toasty room was perfect to solidify my new habit through the rainy winter months.

As a result, unless it is in line with the seasons and my personality, and unless I have a plan, I don’t do New Year’s resolutions anymore. I make changes and set goals as needed. I can be impulsive, but what’s better time to do things than NOW, right?

Today, my goal is to figure out how to fix a line of communication with my teenager. It’s a tall order. An aspiration at most. I have no idea where to start. It might go way into 2024.

Happy New Year!