A Curious Case of a Thank You Card

As soon as we got home after the holidays, my husband and I agreed that we would send his sister a thank you gift card for hosting our family get-together. She put a lot of effort into it and we wanted to show our gratitude as soon as possible. Well, it took us four weeks to drop the card into the mailbox.

Why did this simple task take us so long? It was just one informal card. I had a stamp at home and the mailbox was located fifty leisurely steps away from our house. I decided to take a closer look at the process.

In order to send the card, we needed to choose a card, buy a gift card, write a note, my husband wanted to write his personal note, we had to address and stamp the envelope, and drop it in the mailbox.

My husband took the initiative and bought a gift card a few days after we'd come home. The gift card was staring at me from the kitchen counter, but it took me a few more days to open a drawer with my card stash and choose one. Within a week or so we had two out of six steps complete. Now we spent a few more days waiting for my husband to feel inspired- the note was important to him. I patiently waited. I moved the card from the kitchen counter to a desk, to keep it neat. Within a few days, the card got buried under a pile of bills and papers. Out of sight out of mind. A few more days passed, my husband chatted with his sister on the phone, which reminded him about sending the card. I suggested that perhaps I would write the main note, address the envelope, stamp it and then he could just write a P.S. note. I left the card in plain view on my husband’s desk, which he used daily. It took him two more days to write the note. Last Tuesday, I sealed the envelope and then my son dropped the card in the mailbox. By the time my sister-in-law gets our thank you, it will have been a month since our visit.

But as the saying goes, better late than never, right?

This little investigation into our card sending process made me think about other seemingly simple things that I could do in the nick of time, yet I take forever, like paying bills, making a phone call, scheduling a doctor’s appointment, or running an errand. What I realized is that, just like with sending the card, those things are often way more complex than they seem. Just like sending the card, they might be multi-step, multi-person processes. No wonder I sit on them for so long. Breaking the process down into steps might be beneficial in a variety of ways. Taking a step at a time is a great way to ensure and notice progress. Secondly, it can be useful to identify which part of the process slows us down. For example, with scheduling a doctor's appointment, the problem might be anxiety about making phone calls, difficulty to choose a doctor, frustration about lack of time etc. In the case of the card, I think it was the shared responsibility that made us wait for each other. Clarifying who does what and reminding/ motivating each other to follow through was definitely helpful.

Delayed as it was, I am glad the card made its way to the mailbox. Next time better.